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What to do?

I don't know what to do.

After college I mean.

My last few posts have been about how incredibly much I will miss college. But this one's about how absolutely terrified I am of what happens next.

Where do I go from here? Do I study further or do I work? I'm afraid to leave the comfort of college and begin working and even more afraid to start working without the proper knowledge that I may require so that I do not come across as a complete ignoramus.

As of now, I want to do journalism. I know that. But what about sometime down the line. What if decide I don't like it. What do I do then? Maybe I should have just stuck to doing a B.A or something?

What if I don't get into a good college for my post-graduation? If I'm forced to begin working when I'm not really ready.

Do I study abroad or in Bombay or even a different city in India?

I wish I was phenomenally talented at one specific thing. Maybe drawing or singing or sports or something. So that I would know exactly what to do.

And not have this horrible feeling of standing at the edge of the cliff and not knowing what lies below.

And how do I explain all of this to my parents, without coming across like a whiny, self-obsessed brat who even after 5 years of college doesn't know what she wants to do next.

What will happen next? Five years down the line? Ten? I'm not saying I want to know the future. I'm saying I would want to have some idea of what to expect or at least along what lines my life will be running. Professionally.

About my personal life, I couldn't care less. Whatever has to happen will happen. It's the professional that scares the s*** out of me cause I want to have goals and dreams and if I'm unsure of what I want to be how do I set those goals?

Major sorting out needed.


sodamncool said…
I quote a famous person

"Who the hell cares where we land up...just hit it"

Things will fall into place as days pass...if it is any consolation, I figured out what I wanted to do two years after I graduated from college and this is not 12th ka college but actual Bachelors Degree...

U seem to have a good head on ur shoulders...So you will be fine because atleast you realize you need to figure things out..
neha said…
u sound like ELIZA DOOLITTLE!
nd about wat u will do after ur college...dont worry..u'll figure out something...and i am sure something very interesting!!!

best of luck! ;)
Xorkes said…
this is something i keep mentioning in my blogs too.. confused all d time bout future..

all i can say is,
dont think much!! so far things have happened haphazardly(hehehe)n it will "hopefully" continue for a BETTER future.. ;)
Gentle Whispers said…
@ Sodamncool : Thank you for the vote of confidence. I really really appreciate it.

@ Neha: I know. There's been too much of whining happening from my side lately. But I was having a lot of doubts lately and I needed to vent. You have no idea how much money on therapy my blog saves me!

@ Xorkes. Yup. Constantly hoping and praying!

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