Skip to main content

Forever

I've been looking for forever, from well, forever. I've hunted high and low, here and there. Everywhere. I've picked up every rock, shaken every tree.

I've behaved abominably when I haven't found it and deluded myself into thinking that I have found it at times. Only to realise that whatever it was, it wasn't forever. It was bits and pieces. Fragments. And my heart ached a little bit every time.

But now I know better. I'm going to wait for forever and at the same time not wait.

Forever will come to me when I least expect it. When I'm ready for it. And not a minute too soon. When I'm able to love, as much for its flaws as for its beauty. For its talents as for its failings.

It will come not reeking of perfection, but of warmth and comfort and knowing we fit together.

It will blossom under long walks in the rain, sparkle over strawberry iced teas and blueberry cheesecakes. Grin lopsidedly over Kiwi Martinis and Scotch on the rocks. Be positive through hard work days and tough family times.

To the one whom I'll be able to talk to and vent to be and be friends with. To honesty and hope and patience.

I know it'll be mine someday.
Labels:

Comments

Mynie said…
OMG!!!!
Lyandra you have been longing for love for way too long!
Jokes apart, I think it's one of the best posts on your blog. It is well orchestrated at the same time easy flowing. It moves with grace and breaks jarringly too. It's brilliant. Simply brilliant.
17 April 2009 at 20:15
Revs said…
I like this one :)
19 April 2009 at 06:59
Gentle Whispers said…
@ Mynie: Shut up yer face

@ Revs: Thank you. I was in an unusually poetic mood.
21 April 2009 at 20:16
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Roaring Twenties

So here I am on the eve of my 30th birthday, my very last day of being 29, just about 4 hours left of being a twenty-something. A couple of years ago, I remember snidely chuckling away to myself, when a favourite blogger of mine turned 30, believing that it was so far away, it could never touch me. I'm regretting that now. And to be honest, I thought I would be okay, I really honestly truly believed that I would be greeting this new decade with a casual insouciance and indifference that would normally be characteristic for me, but I'm not. I'm terrified of how quickly my twenties have zoomed by and how little I've accomplished and perhaps that is what is upsetting me. On the cusp of another decade on this planet, well, I feel like a bit of a failure. No, scratch that, I feel majorly like a failure. I'm drowning in self-pity and anguish at wasted opportunities, at thrown-away chances, at my inherent laziness and procrastination, at my never-ending ability to p...
4 comments
Read more

The one with all the food

While I've already done the Happiness is tag once before, I've had food on my mind an awful lot lately. I'm comfort-eating myself all the way to obesity, but I just can't bring myself to care somehow. Anyhoo, Happiness is.. A steaming cup of tea and Parle G biscuits Brun maska and chai Cheese maggi (Double points if it's eaten in a ramshackle hut in the middle of nowhere in Ladakh) Fresh off the tawa alu ka parathas dripping with butter Mutton and cheese burger from Bembos Fiery Mangalorean sorpotel and sannas Tibetan momos from Dharamsala Mashed potatoes with salt, pepper and butter Candies classic roasted chicken Biryani made with fragrant rice and melt-in-the-mouth mutton Cheesy bhajji with warm buttery pav Paya soup from Bara Handi nalli marke Blueberry cheesecake A jar of Nutella and a big spoon Hot McDonalds' french fries sprinkled liberally with salt Rajma-chawal and fried fish Reese peanut butter cups Mangalorean chicken curry and panpoles/Neer dosas Ch...
13 comments
Read more

Remembering Avanti

Day before yesterday, on the 8th of November 2008, Avanti Desai would have turned 21. Instead 15 days before her birthday, as she hurried home to celebrate her grandmother's birthday, Avanti met with a train accident at Jogeshwari station. Just like that. Gone from our lives forever. Leaving behind a huge void and the world a lot more gloomier. And when I got the call first thing in the morning, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a cruel sadistic joke, but as the calls kept coming in, I realised it was true. Even at the cemetary,, it still hadn't sunk in that Avanti was no longer here. The worst moment though was watching her disappear into the crematorium, it was horrible and I couldn't believe we were leaving her there, and through the next couple of hours all I could think of was of her going up in smoke while we stood there in the bright sunshine. It seemed incomprehensible at first, to think of Avanti as dead, to talk about her in the past tense, to get...
15 comments
Read more