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Relationship Weirdness.

Sometimes I just like to sit back and take stock of my relationships with people. I'm not a vindictive person by nature and I don't think I have ever really cut anybody out of my life. It's just not me. I've tried to but I just haven't been able to do it for very long. Even if I'm right, I'll still be the first to call and break the ice. Sometimes I hate myself for it but most of the time I feel that "who cares who makes the first move as long as we're friends again." I can't bear to see one of my friends ignore me or not talk to me.

My relationship with some of my friends is filled with drama. We're constantly arguing, fighting, banging the phone down on each other, swearing we'll never talk to each other again. But after a little while, we talk again and I love that cause these people are like me. Once something is done with, they move on and forget what happened. About forgive, I don't really know. Sometimes though the reverse happens, the situation turns out to be unchangeable and I still keep trying to extending the olive branch. But now I'm wondering if the whole thing is really worth it. If it means that much to me. I find that as I get older and older, my capacity to believe bullshit is decreasing and so are my patience levels. At one point of time, if someone said something mildly insulting to me, I would let it go. Not anymore. Now I'm about ready to rip their throats out. I don't like it that much. But still, at least now I'm not taken for granted anymore.

Another thing I find weird is how I need certain people at particular times in my life. If I need to go out and party or get drunk, I call certain friends, when I want to play basketball or just have a crappy conversation, I call another friend and when I'm in trouble I'll call somebody. All neat little categories. There are probably just about 4-5 people whom I can call at any time and talk about anything under the sun and they'll understand.

I guess thats the difference between friends and acquaintances.



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Over the last two days, I've slept for a grand total of 7 hours and therefore, I am now finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on the mountain of files piled on my desk and screaming to be dealt with. Instead, I am overwhelmed by the urge to blog, but what about, I wasn't too sure, my writing muse having last been seen cackling madly and disappearing away into the sunset.

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