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Making friends

I've always thought of myself as a gregarious, outgoing, friendly person. I've never had a problem talking to people. Making conversation or just breaking the ice and I've always had a lot of friends.

But lately I seem to find myself in a slump. I just can't go up there and talk to people and in the last year, I can count the number of new friends I've made on one hand and as you can guess, I'm none too happy with myself.

I've had friends through my college and school years and now moving out of my comfort zone is becoming too hard for me. I have these friends whom I know super well and whom I know I can blindly fall back on without worrying about a thing. They're my support system. They have my back and I know I have nothing to worry about.

With new friends I'll have to begin all over again. From point A. And it just seems like too much effort. Plus, people at work seem to have their own agendas and I always get the impression that with my way of headlong rushing into things and generally making an ass myself, also my self-deprecating humour, I think they're more laughing at me than with me and it just puts me off. And beyond the usual politeness and surface concern, there isn't anything there. Which is fine by me, Im not too concerned about them either.

But it's just weird. Even in a non-work environment, at a party for instance, I just cannot bring myself to make small talk and break the ice. I sit quietly and wait for the other person to make conversation or I just stick to the people I know.

Which is not very me and is making me unhappier because I don't like feeling anti-social. Any ideas what I should do to get out of this slump I'm stuck in?
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Comments

SMM said…
Ummm compliment the person on maybe shoes/ bag/ clothes/ thoughts/ smile anything - that usually makes the other person warm upto you, though I don't mean that you give out empty compliemnts, but a genuine one.

And come over to my new blog :)
3 October 2009 at 10:07
Raul said…
it's a sort of social paradox. as you grow older, the number of friends you have decrease, while acquaintances increase.
4 October 2009 at 10:31
Sunshine said…
make it a chore...force urself to actually go up to people and talk to them...once u get in the flow of it - ul prob realize that ur basal insticts of being friendly kick right back in! :)
5 October 2009 at 08:30
Anonymous said…
You know its ok to act like a comic with your friends but I've noticed that in office its better to act as if you know more than you actually know! This was the advise given to me by my best friend and I've noticed it actually works! I office maybe you could go out with them for lunch or something or make some movie plans. When they see you outside of the work setting maybe things will improve. At a party maybe some alcohol will help ;)
5 October 2009 at 14:04
Gentle Whispers said…
@SMM: Well, it's not so much that I can't make friends as I don't want to take the effort to.

Anyway, will hop over to the new blog soon. I need to upload it in my blog as well.

@ Raul: I'd have to agree

@ Sunshine: True. I'm going to shake myself out of the slump.
6 October 2009 at 23:09
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