Skip to main content

Bygones

I'm in a new phase where I'm attempting to let bygones be bygones.

I'm making efforts to bridge gaps and extend the olive branch.

I don't expect the relationships to go back to where they were before the breaks happened. But I'm hoping for a thawing of the ice and a certain level of genuine warmth and affection. Or I would just settle for the bitterness and the hate to disappear.

Why?

I've been feeling overtly philosophical lately. And it struck me that as I'm moving into new phases and new avenues in life, there's been some bitterness holding me back. Memories gone sour. I hate it that when I think of college and friends and classmates, that there are unhappy recollections.

I know that I can't expect to get along swimmingly well with everybody, but that doesn't have to translate into dislike and hate and anger. Does it?

I accept that I can't be friends with everyone. But I would like to be good acquaintances at least. That when I run into someone I knew maybe 5-10 years down the line. Though we may not get along, we're able to hug and smile or at the very least smile and nod with some amount of genuineness. That we may actually care about how the other person is doing and not not give a f***. That for 10 minutes at least, we may reminisce in the glow of old memories and not recollect the bitterness that once abounded.

Am I asking for too much? Perhaps.

But I'm still hoping.

For as the very wise Kellie O'Conner once said, "If you have memories together, there is always a piece of friendship inside your heart."

Comments

Homecooked said…
Wow....Lyandra! Good philosophy. Forgive and forget. But I dont think you must have had that many skirmishes with anyone. Believe me...noone remembers after 10 years. Atleast I dont. I remember all the good times I had in college and tear up. I wish I could go back to the past years :(

Popular posts from this blog

Remembering Avanti

Day before yesterday, on the 8th of November 2008, Avanti Desai would have turned 21. Instead 15 days before her birthday, as she hurried home to celebrate her grandmother's birthday, Avanti met with a train accident at Jogeshwari station.

Just like that. Gone from our lives forever. Leaving behind a huge void and the world a lot more gloomier.

And when I got the call first thing in the morning, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a cruel sadistic joke, but as the calls kept coming in, I realised it was true. Even at the cemetary,, it still hadn't sunk in that Avanti was no longer here. The worst moment though was watching her disappear into the crematorium, it was horrible and I couldn't believe we were leaving her there, and through the next couple of hours all I could think of was of her going up in smoke while we stood there in the bright sunshine.

It seemed incomprehensible at first, to think of Avanti as dead, to talk about her in the past tense, to get used…

The Roaring Twenties

So here I am on the eve of my 30th birthday, my very last day of being 29, just about 4 hours left of being a twenty-something.

A couple of years ago, I remember snidely chuckling away to myself, when a favourite blogger of mine turned 30, believing that it was so far away, it could never touch me. I'm regretting that now.

And to be honest, I thought I would be okay, I really honestly truly believed that I would be greeting this new decade with a casual insouciance and indifference that would normally be characteristic for me, but I'm not. I'm terrified of how quickly my twenties have zoomed by and how little I've accomplished and perhaps that is what is upsetting me.

On the cusp of another decade on this planet, well, I feel like a bit of a failure. No, scratch that, I feel majorly like a failure. I'm drowning in self-pity and anguish at wasted opportunities, at thrown-away chances, at my inherent laziness and procrastination, at my never-ending ability to put of…

Lady of the Cake

I've been wanting to blog about my recent interest in baking for a while, well if you can call three years recent, that is. But I've always wanted to talk about the joy that baking brings me and how much I enjoy it. The calories, not so much.

By nature, I am a rather random person. I don't function very well when neatness and precision is necessary. I like to think of myself as a big-picture person. Not for me the analysing of every detail and the nitpicking and the perfectionism. But it is precisely this side of me that baking, the exacting science that it is, challenges and I actually revel in it. There's something about creaming exactly 100 gms of butter with 50 grams of sugar and mixing in 300 gms of flour. Measuring, measuring, measuring, beating, whipping to create a cake that is so much more than the sum of its disparate parts. The exacting nature of baking allows me to put my vagaries aside and focus with a 100% on the job at hand that pleases me. For someone …