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Back out in the open

It's been a while since I've written here. Over a year if you want to nitpick. And while I often contemplated several posts, somehow I lacked the drive to do it until today. I wondered if anyone was still reading me, until I woke up to the realization that primarily I write for myself and as long as I continue that, I'll be fine.

2011 was an intriguing year. One of 'mostly' ups and very few downs. I did plenty during that year - I laughed, I danced, I sang, I travelled. More importantly, I rediscovered myself. After my old job that sucked all the old soul out of me and made me cranky and crabby (yes, I can hear some of you say 'what's new').

But 2011 in some ways restored me. It made me whole again. Made me realise what's important to me and what's not.

My new job, you ask? So far so good. I'm tremendously enjoying it. It has its hard moments, but more often than not I love it and I go in to work happily every day. It's already given me so many new experiences and memories and for that I am extremely grateful.

I have also learned with greater clarity than ever before that I am, what an aunt once described, as a 'person of a thousand brilliant fragments'. I take things up and when I lose interest in them, I rapidly set them aside and absolutely cannot be bothered anymore. I think I'm what the Mad Momma referred to as jhakki .

So that photography blog I mentioned last year? And the football one? Both dead in the water. I still enjoy photography and I still love football.

Sometimes, perfect images present themselves to me and I don't take photographs, simply because I want to be in that moment and enjoy it, not just be capturing it on camera.

Similarly, I love football, more than anyone can possibly imagine, but I do not have in me to run a blog on and keep it ticking. It would make it too much work and I don't want that. I want to enjoy it, to be entirely caught up in the moment, to be awestruck over Xavi, Iniesta and Luis Suarez.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I do enough. I want to do more. I want to learn to bake, I want to read more, I want to have more time with my friends, I want to swim more, go on more treks, I want to write more, to watch even more football, to enjoy more Glee. And sometimes, 24 hours just doesn't seem enough. But as I enter the very last month of my 24th year, I'm starting to learn better how to prioritise and make time to fit in all that I want to do. I'm still not there yet, but I'm learning and I hope 2012 will be a whole new beginning and full of new learning for me.


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