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Hope & Faith

Have you ever wanted anything so much that it's been all you could ever think about?

As much as you try to force it out of your mind, it keeps popping back up and preying on you at the oddest of moments. During a random conversation, while reading a book or traveling.

You keep imagining about how beyond amazing it would be, if it actually happened, while conveniently blocking out the idea of failure.

That's what I've been going through for the past couple of weeks. I've been anxious, nervous and a touch desperate.

Praying and hoping and crossing my fingers and making promises to God. And it's been a while since I've been able to think about anything else.

I've been in living in limbo lately. Just floating through life, waiting to know what will happen.

What really scares me however is that I want this so much and I keep imagining it happening and I'm afraid I might jinx it. That it will never happen to me. And that of all the people it could happen, why would it be me and my luck's really never been that good.

But the waiting should end this week and I'm dreading it. At least hoping is better than no hope at all.

What is it you ask?

If all goes well, I'll tell you.
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Comments

SMM said…
Best of luck sweetie :)
16 June 2009 at 20:23
Titaxy said…
i know what you are talking about...hope all ends well for you...good luck dear....
16 June 2009 at 20:28
sanket kambli said…
uhh...wat ever it is ... best of luck
16 June 2009 at 22:10
Homecooked said…
All the best Lyandra...I hope and pray you get what you want! Let us know soon. I go through these moments every couple of mths :) Dont worry....everything will go well. And yeah anti-jinx!
17 June 2009 at 01:59
Just call me 'A' said…
This could have been written by me!! I'm in the same state this week more than ever. Been in this state for the last 1 month. But unlike you...I'm waiting and hoping that IT will not happen...I want it so much not to be what it might be! Sigh

I hope you get whatever your heart desires. Best wishes and prayers are with you.
all the best
17 June 2009 at 04:18
Gentle Whispers said…
@ SMM, Ersa, Sankoobaba & Homecooked: Thank ye all so much. I should know approximately by the end of the month.

@ A: You don't how glad I am, that what you didn't want to happen didn't happen. Now I just want whatever I hope to happen to happen. :D
23 June 2009 at 18:21
Sunshine said…
Any news yet?? Do let us know!
*fingers crossed* that you get what you want! :)
25 June 2009 at 14:37
Gentle Whispers said…
@ Sunshine: I heard. Not good news. Not good news at all.
9 September 2009 at 20:25
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