Hope & Faith

Have you ever wanted anything so much that it's been all you could ever think about?

As much as you try to force it out of your mind, it keeps popping back up and preying on you at the oddest of moments. During a random conversation, while reading a book or traveling.

You keep imagining about how beyond amazing it would be, if it actually happened, while conveniently blocking out the idea of failure.

That's what I've been going through for the past couple of weeks. I've been anxious, nervous and a touch desperate.

Praying and hoping and crossing my fingers and making promises to God. And it's been a while since I've been able to think about anything else.

I've been in living in limbo lately. Just floating through life, waiting to know what will happen.

What really scares me however is that I want this so much and I keep imagining it happening and I'm afraid I might jinx it. That it will never happen to me. And that of all the people it could happen, why would it be me and my luck's really never been that good.

But the waiting should end this week and I'm dreading it. At least hoping is better than no hope at all.

What is it you ask?

If all goes well, I'll tell you.