Skip to main content

Hope & Faith

Have you ever wanted anything so much that it's been all you could ever think about?

As much as you try to force it out of your mind, it keeps popping back up and preying on you at the oddest of moments. During a random conversation, while reading a book or traveling.

You keep imagining about how beyond amazing it would be, if it actually happened, while conveniently blocking out the idea of failure.

That's what I've been going through for the past couple of weeks. I've been anxious, nervous and a touch desperate.

Praying and hoping and crossing my fingers and making promises to God. And it's been a while since I've been able to think about anything else.

I've been in living in limbo lately. Just floating through life, waiting to know what will happen.

What really scares me however is that I want this so much and I keep imagining it happening and I'm afraid I might jinx it. That it will never happen to me. And that of all the people it could happen, why would it be me and my luck's really never been that good.

But the waiting should end this week and I'm dreading it. At least hoping is better than no hope at all.

What is it you ask?

If all goes well, I'll tell you.

Comments

SMM said…
Best of luck sweetie :)
Titaxy said…
i know what you are talking about...hope all ends well for you...good luck dear....
sanket kambli said…
uhh...wat ever it is ... best of luck
Homecooked said…
All the best Lyandra...I hope and pray you get what you want! Let us know soon. I go through these moments every couple of mths :) Dont worry....everything will go well. And yeah anti-jinx!
This could have been written by me!! I'm in the same state this week more than ever. Been in this state for the last 1 month. But unlike you...I'm waiting and hoping that IT will not happen...I want it so much not to be what it might be! Sigh

I hope you get whatever your heart desires. Best wishes and prayers are with you.
all the best
Gentle Whispers said…
@ SMM, Ersa, Sankoobaba & Homecooked: Thank ye all so much. I should know approximately by the end of the month.

@ A: You don't how glad I am, that what you didn't want to happen didn't happen. Now I just want whatever I hope to happen to happen. :D
Sunshine said…
Any news yet?? Do let us know!
*fingers crossed* that you get what you want! :)
Gentle Whispers said…
@ Sunshine: I heard. Not good news. Not good news at all.

Popular posts from this blog

Remembering Avanti

Day before yesterday, on the 8th of November 2008, Avanti Desai would have turned 21. Instead 15 days before her birthday, as she hurried home to celebrate her grandmother's birthday, Avanti met with a train accident at Jogeshwari station. Just like that. Gone from our lives forever. Leaving behind a huge void and the world a lot more gloomier. And when I got the call first thing in the morning, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a cruel sadistic joke, but as the calls kept coming in, I realised it was true. Even at the cemetary,, it still hadn't sunk in that Avanti was no longer here. The worst moment though was watching her disappear into the crematorium, it was horrible and I couldn't believe we were leaving her there, and through the next couple of hours all I could think of was of her going up in smoke while we stood there in the bright sunshine. It seemed incomprehensible at first, to think of Avanti as dead, to talk about her in the past tense, to get

Randomity

I sat here staring at my screen for at least 15 minutes before I could decide what to blog about and as I write this I still have no idea. It's randomness at its best. There are a multitude of thoughts swirling through my head and I'm finding it hart to pinpoint or firmly hold one down. To be precise, what I'm feeling is exactly what Mynie describes in Strings . It's a knotted mess in my head. But I felt that it was time I did a blog post, there have been way too many tags lately and while I love doing tags. It's incredibly cathartic to write a post and get everything off my chest. And while this may seem a mess of a post, there's a lot of stuff that I wanted to talk about but didn't really seem to deserve an entire post to themselves, in terms of content at least. So I'm gonna put them all in here, in what is probably going to turn up to be a hell of a confused post. I'm just going to go with the flow and talk about whatever pops into my head. Cool?

Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal

I watched Dhan Dhana Dhan Goal over the weekend. First day first show in fact and it was fun. A paisa vasool movie if nothing else. Goal absolutely belongs to John Abraham. You cannot take your eyes off him when he's on screen and he does superbly well in a film that doesn't need much histrionics. And his smile. Its just the best. I'm a sucker for nice smiles. The kind where the eyes get all crinkly and his entire face just lights up. Bipasha Basu doesn't have much to do in the film and is incredibly inept at what she does do. She just doesn't come across well. The songs are pretty good. I especially loved Halla Bol. Billo Rani on the other hand is a nonsensical film and would have fitted in better in a movie about UP or Bihar. And how a bunch of footballers who are struggling to pay rent for their club manage to come up with enough money to hire dancers and a vulgar looking singer is beyond me. The movie though doesn't do much for me. The computer animation is