My First Day

I start work tomorrow for the first time ever. And I'm terrified. Not of the new people or the new place.

But of not performing well and not living up to what they expect of me and what I expect of myself.

I'm scared that I'll be fired.

But most of all, what terrifies me, is the thought that I might realize that journalism is not the profession for me. That i might not be good at it and be forced to give it up.

And so, as I begin work tomorrow. All those of you reading this, lurkers and regular readers, please pray for me that all goes well. That I may be good at whatever it is I'm supposed to do. And that this turns out to be the profession for me.

I hate people who interfere

I hate people who interfere. And I've said it twice so you'll believe me without a doubt.

My college ended in April with my exams even though I officially graduated in June.

And I start work tomorrow. Monday that is.

3 months since I got done with college. And while almost all of my classmates have found jobs and are working, I've pretty much whiled these 3 months away.

I've gone on trips galore. Participated in church camps, volunteered at the YMCA, lazed around at home... You get the picture. All the while trying to decide what to do with life. Whether to work or study.

My parents have been on my back these last 3 months. Wanting me to do something more. Decide what direction I'm going in etc etc.

And I was pretty much okay with not having done anything at all these last three months until a very annoying incident happened.

I was chatting with a classmate on Google Talk sometime this week and I mentioned that I would be working soon.

At which point, she said and I quote. "Finally your doing something productive with your life instead of just lying around wasted."

Wtf? This irritated me like nothing else has in a long long while. Who the hell is she to comment on my life? It's not like she's paying for my upkeep. So why does she get affected by what I do with my life. I could sit around on my arse for the rest of my life if I wanted to and I don't see why it has to make any difference to her. My parents are the only ones who actually have the right to comment on what I do with my life because they're the ones who are putting food on my plate and clothes on my back.

No one else.

And it's not even like she's a close friend, she's just a classmate someone I barely speak to. If it was a good friend, I wouldn't have gotten so upset perhaps because I know they care about what I do with my life and even if they said it in a jocular manner, I would have laughed it off. But not her. She's just some random person I barely know. It's almost like a stranger off the road coming up to me and espousing unwanted opinions.

And I don't think the fact that we're classmates, gives her the right to comment at all, if anything, she should be even more careful that she doesn't cross the line.

Idiot.

And my response to that statement? I hate confrontations, so I pretty much just went offline and I haven't chatted with her since.

My Philosophy

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Hedonism Your life is guided by the principles of Hedonism: You believe that pleasure is a great, or the greatest, good; and you try to enjoy life’s pleasures as much as you can. “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!” More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Hedonism 75% Existentialism 70% Apathy 60% Utilitarianism 50% Kantianism 45% Justice (Fairness) 35% Divine Command 35% Strong Egoism 30% Nihilism 10%

Bygones

I'm in a new phase where I'm attempting to let bygones be bygones.

I'm making efforts to bridge gaps and extend the olive branch.

I don't expect the relationships to go back to where they were before the breaks happened. But I'm hoping for a thawing of the ice and a certain level of genuine warmth and affection. Or I would just settle for the bitterness and the hate to disappear.

Why?

I've been feeling overtly philosophical lately. And it struck me that as I'm moving into new phases and new avenues in life, there's been some bitterness holding me back. Memories gone sour. I hate it that when I think of college and friends and classmates, that there are unhappy recollections.

I know that I can't expect to get along swimmingly well with everybody, but that doesn't have to translate into dislike and hate and anger. Does it?

I accept that I can't be friends with everyone. But I would like to be good acquaintances at least. That when I run into someone I knew maybe 5-10 years down the line. Though we may not get along, we're able to hug and smile or at the very least smile and nod with some amount of genuineness. That we may actually care about how the other person is doing and not not give a f***. That for 10 minutes at least, we may reminisce in the glow of old memories and not recollect the bitterness that once abounded.

Am I asking for too much? Perhaps.

But I'm still hoping.

For as the very wise Kellie O'Conner once said, "If you have memories together, there is always a piece of friendship inside your heart."

Shiv Sena and the Taj

I don't know how many of you are aware of this but my dad just mentioned it and I had to do a post about it.

The Shiv Sena is now claiming that the Taj Mahal has been built at the site of a Shiva temple

Sounds familiar. Remember Babri Masjid?

As of now, it all seems fairly innocent and non-controversial.

I wonder how long that will last.

I love this game

I miss basketball.

I know I've said it about a million times before, but I still miss it. I haven't played in ages.

It's hard to explain though. It's just so absolutely wonderful to play and to come off the court exhausted yet exhilarated.

I love the sense of anticipation before the game. I love that time on the court when I think of nothing else except where the ball is.

I haven't played in months since college ended in fact which was about 3 months ago. And now with work and everything else, I don't see myself playing for a while except maybe an odd moment here and there.

The most depressing thought I've had in a while.

Money Money Money

This is a first.

I want to blog. But I have no idea what to blog about. Weird.

I have finally made a decision though. I'm going to be working for a year and then studying further. Contingent on my getting into a good journalism school that is.

All this CV making and job hunting makes me feel terribly grown up. And not necessarily in a good way.

Its a time to face up to responsibilities, to shoulder some burdens and to walk on. And to let go of the carefree days of yore.

But on the other hand, I will be earning lots of money, (see how good I am at deluding myself), and I will be able to buy myself lots of things. First on the list of which is a new bike.

Yay!

A New Grasscourt Champion

Rafael Nadal edged out Roger Federer yesterday in the Wimbledon finals. Thereby ending Federer's five match winning streak at Wimbledon.

And to say that this was one of the greatest matches ever played will be doing it an injustice. It's a rarity in any sport to see two classy opponents playing at this high a level.

Last year's final was heartbreaking for Nadal and this year almost became a repeat of that. Nadal had Federer on the edge a couple of times and yet every time it seemed like the game was lost, Federer would swing back in. In the end, it felt somehow incredible that Nadal actually won. Time after time on crucial points, Federer rendered Nadal helpless. And if it was any other player, their spirit would have been crushed perhaps. But not Nadal. He had only one case of nerves when he double faulted in the third set after leading the tie breaker 5-2.

Both players fought and fought and didn't let themselves get down. Federer came back after being two sets down to level it despite interruptions of play by the eccentricities of the British weather. And as Federer drew even, it seemed like he was on his way to his sixth straight Wimbledon. But it was just stalling the inevitable as Federer sent a routine shot into the net and the game ended with Nadal flat on his back after 4 hours and 48 minutes. Giving Spain a new Wimbledon Champion after 42 years.

And the best part is, with Roger Federer at 26 and Rafael Nadal only 22, we can be sure of some more great games to come. Alleluia

Bubbling Up

I haven't really felt like blogging lately. I've been commenting on other peoples' blogs but when it comes to posting on my own, I haven't been in the mood.

And even now as I type this post out, I don't really know what I'm going to be writing about. So please bear with me.

First of all, I'm overjoyed that Spain won. The team I supported right from the beginning along with Portugal and Italy won. It was a brilliant victory and well-deserved. And I couldn't be happier if I was in the team myself. I love their style of play. Attacking, flowing football with sharp passing. A sight for sore eyes especially compared to the German style of brute strength. Every game they played was a pleasure to watch. And the best part is that the team who didn't lose a single game throughout the tournament won. And I love Iker Casillas, David Villa, Cesc Fabregas, Fernando Torres and Xabi Alonso. *Sigh*.

And Spain were the clear winners. Despite what some people seem to think. *Cough*Mynie*Cough*

I'm quite sad now that Euro 2008 is over. No flaming arguments about which team will win. No constantly changing statuses on facebook depending on the outcome of games. There's not much to look forward to. And after the pace of football, cricket doesn't hold the same thrill it once did. And while there is tennis, which I love very much, it's a whole other thing to watch a team sport.

On another note, I got my results finally. And I got a first class. But that's not what this is about. It's an odd feeling to know that I am now officially a graduate. But where do I go next? I'm caught between whether I should work for a year or study further. Any ideas?

And before I forget, I've started driving classes. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me and being behind the steering wheel is a total power trip.

Ok that's it, I'm done.

Toodles.