Gentle Whispers

It's been a while since I've written here. Over a year if you want to nitpick. And while I often contemplated several posts, somehow I lacked the drive to do it until today. I wondered if anyone was still reading me, until I woke up to the realization that primarily I write for myself and as long as I continue that, I'll be fine. 2011 was an intriguing year. One of 'mostly' ups and very few downs. I did plenty during that year - I laughed, I danced, I sang, I travelled. More importantly, I rediscovered myself. After my old job that sucked all the old soul out of me and made me cranky and crabby (yes, I can hear some of you say 'what's new'). But 2011 in some ways restored me. It made me whole again. Made me realise what's important to me and what's not. My new job, you ask? So far so good. I'm tremendously enjoying it. It has its hard moments, but more often than not I love it and I go in to work happily every day. It's already given me s...

It wouldn't be a New Year, if my post looking back didn't come too late about two weeks too late. 2010. What do I say about it? It was a strange sort of year. One that just whizzed by and I rather floated through it. It had it's good moments and bad though. I travelled. Especially one extremely memorable trip to Sattal in Himachal Pradesh. I now have a great SLR camera and three lenses to go with it. I have a Blackberry and a PS3 and lots of new books. A lot of friendships fell into place this year and I realised whom the people I can really call friends are. 2010 was a fun year and I hope 2011 betters it. How was your year?

This is just to say that my thirty day project begins from tomorrow. Right now I'm sitting at Marine Drive with all the best things life has to offer namely good friends, good music and good conversation.

It's been a while since I've blogged and while I have wanted to, I've been simply too lazy to actually do something about it. Of course, I've probably lost the two readers I had, but Cest la vie. It's been a strange eight months since I last blogged. A lot has happened and while I'd love to rant and whine to you, most of it has been good. I'm still working. I even got a raise, though it was so minuscule that even calling it a raise is a joke. My brother bought me a digital SLR, this one I want to marry it and have babies. Accordingly I've named him Flint and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I went on two holidays. One to Dubai and the other to Sattal in Uttarakhand. Two holidays as different as anything I could ever have hoped for. I gave my MA exams in English Literature and actually passed Part 1. Now I only have Part 2 to worry about. I now have, not just one, but two new blogs, one is a photography blog, Swirls of Sapphire and ...

While I've already done the Happiness is tag once before, I've had food on my mind an awful lot lately. I'm comfort-eating myself all the way to obesity, but I just can't bring myself to care somehow. Anyhoo, Happiness is.. A steaming cup of tea and Parle G biscuits Brun maska and chai Cheese maggi (Double points if it's eaten in a ramshackle hut in the middle of nowhere in Ladakh) Fresh off the tawa alu ka parathas dripping with butter Mutton and cheese burger from Bembos Fiery Mangalorean sorpotel and sannas Tibetan momos from Dharamsala Mashed potatoes with salt, pepper and butter Candies classic roasted chicken Biryani made with fragrant rice and melt-in-the-mouth mutton Cheesy bhajji with warm buttery pav Paya soup from Bara Handi nalli marke Blueberry cheesecake A jar of Nutella and a big spoon Hot McDonalds' french fries sprinkled liberally with salt Rajma-chawal and fried fish Reese peanut butter cups Mangalorean chicken curry and panpoles/Neer dosas Ch...

frustration. And that has been a well-documented fact. All I've ever expected from the people I know is honesty and loyalty. The guts to say something straight out. If I ask something of them and they're unable to do it, then to let me know. I'd rather be told the bitter truth to my face, then have to deal with lies and feeble excuses. And when it does happen, I often don't know how to react, I wonder why it happens and whether what I'm asking for is just too much. But now , being the me that I've become, I just do the simpler thing, I simply refuse to respond, I cut off all relations, until I feel ready to respond again. I put people and their issues on the back burner and I don't have anything to do with them until I feel that I care enough. Which is not to say that I'm rude or insensitive. I'm civil enough. I just think it's wrong for anybody to expect things of me, when they aren't ready to meet mine. Perhaps, as I've recently realis...

It's hard to pick up blogging again when you haven't really been in the blogging zone in a very long time. I haven't been quite myself lately. I don't know who I am anymore or what I'm about. When events unfold, I'm unsure of what my reaction is, of what I should be doing. I torture myself wondering whether what I'm doing is the wrong thing or right. I've changed in other ways too. I've become far more cynical and bitter. The hope and joie de vivere that once characterised me is slowly dying. I'm finding it harder and harder to talk to peopland make new friends. I'm not as easy-going and laid back as I once used to be. I'm much more harder and unforgiving than I used to be. I don't let go of issues easily. I hold grudges and that's something I NEVER used to do. I'm quite prepared to walk away from friends who've hurt me once and I'm equally prepared never to speak to them again and not make the first move. Tellingly,...

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. T.S. Eliot 2009. The worst of times. 2009 was my year of despair. It had me lower than I have ever been before. 2009 truly gave me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It helped me rediscover friendships I thought were a thing of the past. It made me realise how you might think you know someone, only to find out that you don't know them at all. It made me realise what people mean when they say they hate their jobs. Doing something you can't stand, for someone you detest, for very little money is absolutely character building. Believe me. Seriously however, I never realised I had the fortitude and the strength within me to stick to something when the easier option would be to just walk away. A major part of the year saw me more depressed than I have ever been before. Nothing interested me. Noth...

It's been an interesting sort of week. My mum and dad were both out of town on separate conferences and since my brother is home on leave, it's just been him and me. Surprisingly there hasn't been any bloodshed. An achievement by our standards. My dad And as my mother told me about a million times before I left, I am the Woman of the house while she isn't here. Whatever that means. Today however, I'm planning on going for Celebrate Bandra and it should be fun with theatre and dance and art and literature. And if it isn't, well then I'll just make it fun. :D Also, I have my eye on a new template for the upcoming festive season, but it is a little bit too early, so you can expect a new look to my blog sometime soon. I'm keeping my mind open however and if I come across a better one, I'd be all over it. P.S: Anyone who points out the utter pointlessness of this post is here forth banned from the blog. You have been warned.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." -Frank Sinatra Amen.

I wasn't in the best of moods , these last few weeks and even getting out of bed was proving to be too much of a task. Until the rapid turnaround happened, and while I'm still going off into my black moods, I'm trying to keep from letting them engulf me and swallow me whole. But then I that despite the several setbacks I've had, I've realised the Universe is not out to get me. And so I can remind myself of them every time I get low and depressed, I'm making a list. Besides, I love making long list of things to do. Tis's so much fun. 1) I have a job. Much as I don't enjoy it. At least I have one with a fairly decent pay at a time when people are losing their jobs and working for pittances. 2) I have wonderful friends, who care about me. Who worry when I'm not happy and go out of their way to make sure I'm okay and I'm smiling. They're my rainbows on dark, gloomy days. 3) This blog. As long as I have this blog, I think I'll be okay. ...

I haven't been feeling quite myself lately. I haven't been very happy both personally and professionally. It's like a piece of me has been missing. I've been going through the motions of daily life mechanically feeling like it's not me, but someone else who's going through everything. Also, the thought of quitting journalism has been coming to my mind a lot lately. And I haven't actually acknowledged it until now. What has been the most indicative of my distaste of anything to do with journalism has been the fact that I've been quite disinclined to even blog. And that is something that's never happened before. I know journalism doesn't have much to do with blogging, but for me, the happier I've been the more I've wanted to blog and I haven't felt like blogging in months now. And all the last few posts you've seen have been me pushing myself to write, just because I hate seeing this blog dead. Personally is a whole other issue, on...

Have you ever wanted anything so much that it's been all you could ever think about? As much as you try to force it out of your mind, it keeps popping back up and preying on you at the oddest of moments. During a random conversation, while reading a book or traveling. You keep imagining about how beyond amazing it would be, if it actually happened, while conveniently blocking out the idea of failure. That's what I've been going through for the past couple of weeks. I've been anxious, nervous and a touch desperate. Praying and hoping and crossing my fingers and making promises to God. And it's been a while since I've been able to think about anything else. I've been in living in limbo lately. Just floating through life, waiting to know what will happen. What really scares me however is that I want this so much and I keep imagining it happening and I'm afraid I might jinx it. That it will never happen to me. And that of all the people it could happen, why ...

I am now officially scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas about posts, and this is what it has resulted in. You have been duly warned however, so read on at your own peril. You know how it is when your at a party or at a sleepover and it's around four am in the morning and things are starting to quiet down, with people drifting off to sleep. And you know how there's always one incessantly loud person, who refuses to go sleep, who's batteries haven't wound down yet, the one who annoys the heck outta everybody. That's me. I'm that loud annoying person. The later it gets and the sleeper everybody else gets, the more energetic I get. And I refuse to let people go to sleep. Well, unless I'm indulging in some activities of my own, which I refuse to elaborate on considering this is a family blog and being stoned to death is not my idea of the best way to meet my Maker. Anyway, I want them to do something. Dance, talk, sing. SOMETHING!! The last party I was at...

I've always loved Sundays. During school, it was the one day of a week when my parents were at home. We'd get a chance to do things around the house. Stocking up for the week ahead. Having a special family lunch. A nap after that and visiting family and friends in the evening. I loved Sundays even more when I started work. Sunday was MY day off. When I could relax and do absolutely anything I wanted to do. Potter around the house, talk on the phone, catch up on all my television viewing and read my books at leisure. But it's not so anymore. Ever since I switched jobs. I now work weekends and take my offs on Monday. And it sucks. It throws everything out of schedule. When I'm free to do absolutely anything I want to do, everybody else is going to work. On the brighter side, I don't have Monday blues anymore. I just hate Tuesdays now.

That's what I would taste like to a cannibal. Broiled fish! Hmph. Created by Recipe Star

Does anyone think Cyrus Broacha is one of the most annoying people on the planet? I do. He was just about tolebearable on MTV, but I can't bear him even an iota on CNN-IBN. He goes out of his way to irritate the hell out of you and it's not even funny. But I'd have to say, he's the lesser evil compared to Sajid Khan. He makes me want to rip my arm off just so that I'd have something to throw at him. Who annoys you?

Screw everything I said earlier. I take it back. It's so bad, I even contemplated deleting the damn post. I'm going over to the dark side again. The Moo side of things. It's a much better funner side and it doesn't involve wanting to bang heads together at 15 minute intervals. What can I say, five days of looking after 40 screaming, loud kids from the ages of six to thirteen at a YMCA day camp is a pain in the you-know-what, not to mention exhausting, from 9 to 5 will do that to you. Ensuring they're all fed, watered, occupied, enjoying themselves, taking part in everything and not pushing and pulling each other, makes you by the end of the day, want you to pull your hair out and either kill them or kill yourself. I'm NEVER having kids. Never, never never........... *Runs off screaming into the distance*

I've been wanting to blog all day, but nothing blog worthy really came to my mind. And then I remembered this . it's been lying in my drafts since October. So please go over. Check it out and maybe leave me a comment. Okay?

I'm a sarcastic person. Always have been and always will be. And as far as knowing whether it's a good thing or no, I'm not really sure. And no, I don't think sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. Sarcasm requires quick wit and the ability to extract any point of weakness in a conversation. And the timing. I'm not going to go into detail about how absolutely moronic I find that statement because then this post will go on forever. Perhaps not being able to be sarcastic has something to do with an inability to use sarcasm. And leads to finding sarcasm stupid. All my friends say, I'm sarcastic. And I know I am. And I have never ever denied it. In my defence, you should meet my mum. She tops me in those stakes. But anyway. I never pick on any one person. I make jokes at my friends' expense without picking on any one person. I know how it feels to be the butt of jokes all the time, and I would never do that to anybody else. I'm not really sure if this merit...